Saturday, February 26, 2005

It's Just a Little Crush

My birthday actually turned out to be a lot of fun. I went to TRL on thursday & according to my family I was on screen about five times ( which was my goal to begin with). I went to the bar last night with a few people, and Ms.Stephanie came too which was really cool. But with me there's always the inevitable making an ass of myself. Did you ever notice the worst kind of rejection is the type you're not asking for? Usually when you get rejected you know there's a chance for it...like you set yourself up to either be accepted or rejected, it's a 50/50 chance. But there are those rare instances ( or maybe not so rare instances) when rejection finds you. When someone tells you that you can't have them...even though you weren't asking. Hmmm, I pretty much hate that feeling. I had a little taste of it last night, I have a little crush and he ever so nicely told me
"things" were moving too fast. What exactly this "thing" is I don't know, but nonetheless he said it was moving too fast so I put on the break. I slammed on the break actually. There's nothing like being rejected to sober you up. As I fell asleep in my drunken stuper, eyeliner on my cheeks and the threat of a possible hangover looming over my head, all I could think about was him. Why is it that when someone tells us we can't have something, we want it even more?? Even if maybe we didn't even want it that much in the first place...the lure of the unattainable is my ultimate guilty pleasure. The next morning, or rather a few hours later, I awoke with a clearer mind...I decided to call him. We cleared things up, turns out he wasn't rejecting me, he just wanted to see where things wen't naturally. Ahh, patience; a virtue I have yet to obtain. We'll see what happens, afterall my heart still belongs to someone else, and I'm not in a rush to change that. Once again time will tell...maybe I should change the name of my blog to that since it seems to be the running theme.

2 Comments:

Blogger Tanalee said...

Happy birthday.


My blog is tanalee.blogspot.com

Sat Feb 26, 09:39:00 PM 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And what happens then? What should I say? Why? When? or where?... Don't know....
Pacing back and forth between the walls of seclusion;
Trying hard to decipher between reality and illusion;
Once it was clear,at least it seemed to be.
But its easy when you see only the things that you choose to see;
Traveling on a one way track in a time
and place that's all but clear.
Heading full speed toward something unknown just hoping its near;
Slow down take a look around...
...keep your head held high but keep your feet on the ground.
Its not all right in front of you,
It would be too simple that way
Hold off on some things and save
Your best for a better day.

Sun Feb 27, 10:22:00 PM 2005  

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