Wednesday, March 02, 2005

It's in his kiss...

I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it possible to really like someone after only a short while? Can I say I really know how I feel, when I don't completly know him? I don't know...I want to find out though. It may sound dumb, or it may not, but to me kissing someone tells me a lot about our chemistry together, about wether or not we click persay. I just want to get it over with, to see what it's like, to see if there's anything there. I feel like the longer I'm around him, the more I like him and I'm just setting myself up to get my feelings hurt again. I'm over getting hurt. Maybe it's not just a little crush, maybe it could be more, maybe not. I don't know which way is up anymore and this situation is not helping. I've told myself to just stay away from him, not to think about it, not to talk to him...but I can't. I don't want to. I just wish I could not feel anything. Once again I'm here thinking about a boy who probably could care less about me. I don't even know...this is more of a rant than an actual post but I had no one else to talk to at 12 o clock at night so here I am. I have to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve but it seems almost impossible. I give up...

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Claribel!?!? Believe me... it's not easy...

Yet behind closed doors there's so much unsaid. So many tears, so many screams, all parading through their head. Behind closed doors the aura is only pain. Hating eyes, paralyzing fears, hanging there for so many days.

I'm afraid of being exposed. But maybe I already have. Maybe thats why I'm in this damn place. In this cage that I've built around my heart and veins. More pain cannot be wrung from those who wait. In fear and hope of both the worst and best. Some day, perhaps, their hearts might find some rest, sure in grief or joy of their clear fate. In the meantime,well... time is agony; No second chance, no second past....

Everything can end. Everything can start. But what is it then? ...I'm just out of this place... papai papai bye

Wed Mar 02, 12:50:00 AM 2005  

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