Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Temporary Insanity...

I think I was drunk last night...I must've been. It feels like I was, but maybe I was drunk off something other than alcohol. All I know is I feel completely different now. Last night I wanted something, but now I'm kind of indifferent about it. Lol that'll probably change the second I see him...it will. Anyway, I'm beginning to bore myself with all this boy crap so I've decided to stop being so impatient about things...whatever things are. It's like when you're drunk at a party and you know you're making a fool of yourself yet you don't stop. It's the morning after the party, and I'm tired of acting like an idiot. Today I have absolutly nothing to do, and it feels kind of good. My dad woke me up yelling as usual, and my mom wanted me to get her another book at Barnes. Nooooo. I do not want to go in there today, thankfully I called and they don't have it, I would've screamed. Oh and Mr. Anonymous who keeps leaving me comments, I know who you are...it's cute.

*******
I go to see you
Do you know it's me?
Can you see your reflection?
The way I can see?
You're so intriguingYou make me feel weak
I'd cross a thousand broken bridges
Just to hear you speak
Somehow you see right through me
You won't let me pretend
All I want to do is run away
I'm scared of how this will end
But something keeps on calling me
Maybe it's your voice
It's funny but the more I fight it
The more I know I have no choice...

It's in his kiss...

I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it possible to really like someone after only a short while? Can I say I really know how I feel, when I don't completly know him? I don't know...I want to find out though. It may sound dumb, or it may not, but to me kissing someone tells me a lot about our chemistry together, about wether or not we click persay. I just want to get it over with, to see what it's like, to see if there's anything there. I feel like the longer I'm around him, the more I like him and I'm just setting myself up to get my feelings hurt again. I'm over getting hurt. Maybe it's not just a little crush, maybe it could be more, maybe not. I don't know which way is up anymore and this situation is not helping. I've told myself to just stay away from him, not to think about it, not to talk to him...but I can't. I don't want to. I just wish I could not feel anything. Once again I'm here thinking about a boy who probably could care less about me. I don't even know...this is more of a rant than an actual post but I had no one else to talk to at 12 o clock at night so here I am. I have to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve but it seems almost impossible. I give up...